


A Flimsy Excuse

by merinxD



Category: Free!
Genre: AU, Love Story, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn, Romance, Sex Sex, Smut, alternative universe, gay for pay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:12:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3153527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merinxD/pseuds/merinxD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiatus until the author has more time. <br/>Au.</p><p>Haru left four years ago to work as physiotherapist for the Japanese Olympic Team. He left his best friend and only family behind. Now, circumstances have sent him hurtling into an old life, with a new opportunities. Haru will confront his feelings and find a way to deal with Makoto after all this time. His story starts back where he left off, but this time Haru is an adult. He is ready and prepared for the opening of his and Makoto’s new business, but no one told him about the gay porn part…</p><p>This story will contain adult content</p><p>unedited</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Physiotherapy hadn’t been an obvious choice for Haruka. It wasn’t on his list of possible careers, during high school, and did not show up on his career test. Nevertheless, the year following Third Year showed that Haru had a skill for sports physio. He had been a swimmer in school, and still loved to swim now. Swimming, however, wasn’t his occupation. 

Actually, a friend in his anatomy class gave him the idea to work in sports medicine. It was the second semester of their first year, and Haru was doing a generalised degree. Rei was a spectacled genius that studied management. He had a particular interest in sports, and called it beautiful- Haruka recalled- and it led Rei to explore the limits of the human body. 

Rei was a good friend, who helped Haru. It was a particular conversation that changed Haruka’s mind, though, and he still remembered it clearly. 

They were sitting in the Library, on a day not out of the norm, when Haru clapped his textbook shut and turned to look at his friend. 

“If you like the human body then why don’t you be a doctor?” He asked bluntly, out of nowhere. 

Rei stopped reading and gazed upward to look him.  

The blue haired man held a strange expression on his face that Haruka couldn’t register. 

“My parent’s are doctors, and so is my brother…and I don’t like blood.” He divulged, and Haruka could tell that there was more to the story. The rest wasn’t his to hear, he supposed. Instead, Rei continued on with something that would help Haru.

“Physio is interesting, Haruka-kun. It will get me to where I want to be, and I’ll be proud of it.” 

At 18 years old - almost 19 - Haruka felt lost. He didn’t know where he wanted to be, not so far as his career went, and here was Rei with it all mapped out. 

So he asked his friend, “How?”

“Excuse me?” Rei responded, and he pushed his red glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“How do you know where you want to be? How is it easy for you to choose?” Haruka asked. 

The question was straight forward, just like Haruka himself, and Rei regarded him with serious eyes. 

“I’m studying physiotherapy and management so that I can become a sports manager for the Olympic team, or any big sports team, really. The human form is beautiful, and complex…and I like to organise.” Rei paused, looking much older and wiser. “It shouldn’t hurt when you choose, Haruka-kun. Just look at what you like and go from there.”

“I like to swim.” Haru replied after a moment. 

“ _And_ you are good at this.” Rei said, tapping his pen against the sports medicine intro text.

It was true - Haru was good at both. 

Then it hit him.  

“Rei…Does the Olympic team need physios for the swimmers?” Haru could feel it brewing beneath his skin. Perhaps he had found something. 

The blue haired youth smiled, and it grew into a maniacal grin. 

“Yes, they do, Haruka-kun.” His friend said.

That encounter with Rei shaped Haru’s future from then on. He stuck to his studies, and worked at his part time job. After that, university wasn’t as daunting, and life didn’t seem so muddled. 

Though, Haruka still did not understand another part of himself. He was confused about his longest friend - Makoto. Haru remembered how emotional it was for him to leave. 

He was 22 when walked away from Makoto, and their flat. The communication between them started to dwindle, until radio silence ensued. Haru assumed that Makoto had gotten on with his life, and heard changes from Makoto when they emailed sporadically. It was the longest period of time that Haru had been without hearing his friend’s voice, and it wasn’t easy. Though, he had a reason to avoid Makoto. 

They met in the first grade, and they relied on each straight away. It wasn’t a surprise that Makoto was a large part of Haruka’s life, or that they were close. It was a surprise to learn that his feelings of friendship were skewed, however, and that he had let his friend down by what he was feeling. 

Haru’s teenage years were full of confusion about ill-timed erections, and the fact that he enjoyed the scent of Makoto’s sweat. Because of hormones, Haru gave in to his secret desires, and spent much of his time wanking in the bath, thinking of his friend. 

Haru knew very well that Makoto was straight. There was an incident with Makoto’s laptop, and schoolgirl porn, when they were 16. Haru found the adult film confusing. The woman was busty and the man’s face wasn’t shown. Though, Haru still recalled the size of the porn star’s erection. It made him think of Makoto’s and he felt so guilty. Yet, it didn’t stop his brain from supplying images of Haru and his friend in pornographic situations. Perhaps there would be a school uniform involved, Haru used to fantasise. He felt wrong wanting a man to treat him like a woman, but it didn’t stop him from imagining Makoto when he was masturbating. 

After a long time of hiding his sexual feelings, Haru realised that it wasn’t going to work out, and that anything with Makoto was a pipe dream. It was also around the same time that Haru realised that he loved Makoto. 

Of course, that was whenhe fucked up. He knew that the older woman he met, at a bar, wanted to sleep with him. Haru had never been with a woman and he decided that he needed to know if he could. It turned out, that while he was able to perform, Haru required assistance.

It was embarrassing for he when he realized that she realized that he was gay. 

“What’s his name?” The woman asked, still grinding against him. 

Haru faltered, and she breathed just beneath his ear. Haru imagined that it was Makoto.

“Makoto.” He told her, softly. 

“Think of Makoto.” She replied simply, she was alcohol addled and too horny to care that she was fucking a man of the wrong orientation. So Haru did just that; he closed his eyes and imagined Makoto. 

Afterwards he was going to confess his feelings, but he kept putting it off. By the time Haruka had gathered enough courage to tell his best friend, “I’m gay and in love with you”, Makoto began dating a leggy brunette with a phd in ecology. 

Haru picked himself up and dusted himself off. He realised that he needed to be without Makoto to sort himself out… even though he knew that things would not be the same again. 

 Haruka left for his internship a month later, where he tried to put Makoto from his mind... 

Life was good for a while. Working for the Japanese Olympic swimming team was awesome, and the sex that he came upon was even better. The open bars at events, were crawling with attractive sportsman, and Haru found that he liked being chatted up by them- even if it was covertly. 

Yeah, it was a good time to come to terms with who he was, and Haru truly allowed himself to let loose. He got to perv on the hot swimmers, and more importantly, he got to swim in the pool. 

It seemed like the perfect job…

Until things went to shit, like many things in life do. It was a shame but Haru was itching to go home and be what he truly was. This time, he would have courage.

 

Haru gazed up at the house in front of him. The street was empty and even though this wasn’t his hometown, Haru felt like he had been transported backwards. 

The pathway leading to Makoto’s house was reminiscent of his old home, and Haru noted the cat gnomes littered through the white stone garden.

It looked like Makoto looked after the place. 

He centred himself, and put his best foot forward. His fist made contact with the wooden door before he was ready, and Haru felt a surge of panic inside of him. 

Footsteps sounded and the door swung open quickly. Haruka’s chest tightened and then released when Makoto’s face came into view. 

He was really here. 

If someone had told Haru a month ago that he would be standing in front of Makoto Tachibana, he would have scoffed, and then maybe mourned over the fact that it wasn’t true. Haru supposed that life was funny like that; it was unpredictable and loved to turn you on your head at a moments notice. 

Haru was the reason that he was here and no one else was to blame. He accepted his punishment for ‘the incident’ and he was moving on. He wasn’t sure if he was okay with everything that had happened, but with Makoto in front of him, it was hard to be sad.  

“ _Haru_.” Makoto said disbelievingly. 

Haru understood - Real life did not compare to the telephone, or email. 

“Makoto.” Haru replied automatically, and Makoto’s smile grew in size. There was energy in the air that had Haru putting his guard up. 

Makoto’s eyebrows raised and he chuckled. 

“What?” Haru snapped, wondering what Makoto was thinking. 

Also, Haru had really missed that stupid laugh. 

“I’ve missed you saying my name.” Makoto told him, and Haru tried not to savour the sentence. He knew that the words held no meaning behind them; at least not in the way that he wanted. 

Haru opened his mouth to speak, but Makoto pulled in inside.

“I’ve missed you as well.” His friend admitted easily, stepping backward. It was weird, Haru could have sworn that Makoto was going to touch him, but his friend kept his distance. 

“I’m so happy you’re here.” Makoto said, meeting Haru’s blue eyes with his own truthful green. Haru glanced down to the side, and Makoto’s smiled softly. Then, he stepped into the house.  

“This is your home for as long as you want.” Makoto said. 

‘Home.’ Haru thought, and he looked down the long hallway. The floor was made of varnished wood and it all looked very well maintained, despite being aged.

“This place is nicer than the apartment.” Haru said, as he toed of his shoes. He didn’t want to think about who owned the slippers he was putting on. Secretly, he hoped that Makoto had gotten them for him. Though, they likely belonged to a woman with the same sized feet as him. 

“And bigger.” Makoto replied, disappearing through an archway to the left. “The kitchen is in here.” Makoto informed.

 Haru thought that he could hear nervousness in his friend’s voice but didn’t say anything - it had probably just been too long.

“Okay.” Haru said, but he didn’t move yet. Instead, he paused to catch his breath for a second. He didn’t realise that it would take so much out of him, to see Makoto. It had been planned, but it didn’t change the amount of shock to Haru’s system. His heart was likely to stop. 

“Haru?” Makoto called out from the kitchen, and Haru shook himself out of it. He entered through the archway and observed the gold tinted light. Makoto had never been a fan of fluorescent, if he remembered correctly. The room looked very old, though the stove was stainless steel. It was nice. 

Makoto pointed towards a large simmering pot. 

“I was making your favourite.” He said, and the brunet stepped away from the counter. 

Haru didn’t move and it felt like the moment had slowed. Makoto walked up to him, and Haruka had the distinct want to flee. 

He stood strong… 

Makoto stopped just short of too close for comfort, and placed his hands on Haru’s biceps.

“Makoto…” Haru began to say. He wasn’t sure what was happening.

Then, Makoto pulled him into a hug. 

All at once, Haru remembered what he had been missing; the warmth of his friend’s body and the smell of soap on Makoto’s skin; the fact that Makoto was tall enough to protect him made Haru feel better. For a moment Haru felt completely safe – It was the first time in a very long time. 

“Welcome home.” Makoto murmured against Haru’s hair, and he pulled back, before leaning down to rest his forehead on Haruka’s shoulder. They were silent for a minute, the only sound coming from the bubbling liquid behind them.

Haru finally allowed himself to hug Makoto back, and his friend hugged him tighter. Haru felt wetness against his shirt, then, and he realised that Makoto was crying. 

“Your my best friend.” Makoto said, out of the blue, and Haru’s heart both swelled and broke. 

“You’re mine as well.” Haru told the truth, and Makoto gathered himself, stepping backward. 

“I almost can’t believe that you’re here, that we are doing this together.” Makoto said, wiping his forearm across his damp cheeks as he spoke. It was obvious that Makoto was trying to get back to more neutral ground, and that was fine by Haru.  

“It will be good.” Haru replied. He couldn’t believe his circumstances either. Life had thrown him an opportunity and Haruka was rolling with it.  

“It’s going to be the best pool.” Makoto smiled. He turned to face the stove, where the broth was beginning to boil.

“Hm.” Haru hummed a reply. He could feel himself starting to relax a bit. 

“Anyway, we can talk about it later.” Makoto said, “You must be tired. Do you want me to put your things away?” He asked without turning away from the stove. 

Haru shook his head, but realised that he needed to speak aloud. 

“No. I’ll be fine. Where is it?” 

“Up the stairs, second door to the left.” Makoto replied, as he stirred diligently, before reaching for some more seasoning. 

“Thanks.” Haru said, and he took in Makoto’s wide shoulders for a moment longer. Without realising, the image entered Haruka’s ‘Makoto database’, where it would forever stay. 

Haru tapped the doorframe once, sighed softly, and pushed off. 

“I’ll be back soon.” He said.

“Okay.” Makoto replied easily. 

Haru nodded, and went to walk away.

“Oh, Haru!” His friend rushed to say. “I forgot to tell you that I’ve just drawn a bath. It’s all yours.” Makoto smiled, gazing over his shoulder for a second. 

Haru felt stiff, tired, and dirty, and it had been too long since he’d had a bath. He didn’t care that Makoto had known he would want to soak as soon as he arrived. It had been years since he had starting using showers and Haru refused to spoil the moment. In previous years he had to deal with the odd hotel bath, which wasn’t the same. Public bathing was also a lot of effort. 

He didn’t have to worry anymore, though. He could have as many baths as he liked.

Haru began to acknowledge that he was home, and from the looks of it, he was going to be here for a while. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru should confess.

It was almost a year ago when Haruka decided to tell Makoto that he was gay. He knew that Makoto would never want him in _that way,_ but Haru was ready to tell the truth. He was still working overseas, at the time, and had been contracted to different sporting teams through his work. He wasn’t in Japan, and decided that he couldn’t tell Makoto in an email - It wouldn’t feel right.

Haru had been hiding himself from Makoto for too long, and he harboured guilt because of it. It was a feeling that he longed to be rid of, whether he was accepted or not.

Yes, Haru knew when he made the decision to tell Makoto, that it wouldn’t be easy. Haru became an honorary member of Makoto’s family at the ripe age of 5, after all, and although he could not have known his orientation, Haru felt badly for deceiving the Tachibanas. He had loved Makoto from their first meeting. It was a puppy love mixed with complete adoration, masked by Haru’s sullen face. It was a blessing, really, that Haru wasn’t big on expressions. Otherwise the whole world would have known what he had felt, even before he did. Though, Haru didn’t see anything wrong with how he felt. He hadn’t had a friend before, so it felt normal with Makoto; They were 5 for Kami’s sake. 

It wasn’t normal, Haru discovered, when the kids at school teased him. They said that it was weird for Haru to spend time with only Makoto, playing pretend. The children called Haruka, ‘Makoto’s girlfriend’ over and over - which Makoto denied -and while Haru scowled at the children, he found that he didn’t hate the thought of being Makoto’s.

It was his first realisation about what Makoto meant to him, and it was completely innocent.

After that Haru pulled back a bit, but he still thought about what the children said. They grew up, and Haru thought about being a girl every so often. Haru used to entertain the thought, that if he was a girl, Makoto might be his boyfriend. 

By the time he was 10 Haru was starting to question the fantasy and his reasons behind it. He decided that it would never work out for him to be a girl, he didn’t like girls, and Makoto seemed to like Haru well enough. 

He didn’t understand that ‘like’ could mean many different things…

As a grown man, returned home with a mission, Haru knew that he might fuck it all up. Makoto was relying on him to help get their business up and running. They were meant to be signing the lease to the training centre today. If all went to plan, and they were able to make a profit, Haru and Makoto could buy the establishment within the year. Haru liked the idea of starting his own physiotherapy practice, but he knew that was awhile off. It was very possible that he would need to search for a job while they got up and running.

But before they signed the form, and took on a swimming hall, Haruka needed to tell the truth. He didn’t particularly want to; it was more of a should. The idea of joining Makoto in business, only to have his friend hate him afterward would be too difficult. Haru should get it out in the open first, and then if Makoto wanted him to leave, he would. 

Haru shook his mop of black hair, and rolled over in bed. He wasn’t looking forward to talking with Makoto at all. 

It was well into the day, and he knew that there was probably a stack of paperwork waiting for him downstairs. It wasn’t too hot, but it was far from cold. Haru could feel the warm sun filtering through the window, as the curtain gusted with the breeze. Sun light shone directly into Haru’s blue eyes, and the dark haired man scowled. 

That was it. 

It was time to get up and face the music. 

 

“Morning, Haru.” Makoto grinned, when Haruka entered the kitchen. The tall brunet was standing at the fridge, peering inside. 

“You slept late.” Makoto continued, as he poked around in the fridge. “You missed breakfast, but you’re just in time for lunch!” He continued, and Haru noted that Makoto seemed nervous again; his friend was doing that thing where he acted more cheerful than required; Makoto always did that when he didn’t know what to say; it was a rambling affliction. 

 “Hn.” Haru intoned, stepping further into the room. He had not observed, the night before, that the kitchen was also doubled as the dining room.  There was a large round table sitting just right of the counter, with four matching seats. The set looked familiar, like the one that used to be at Makoto’s house when they were kids, though it was too new.  

“You like what I did to it?” Makoto asked, and Haru looked over at his friend. He was confused, until Makoto pointed towards the table. “It the one from back home, remember?” 

Haru did remember, and as he walked up to the varnished table, he searched for something on it’s surface. 

It was there, right on the edge - His name was carved along side Makoto’s. There wasn’t anything joining their names, but it was obvious that two different people had carved upon the wood.

  _Haruka_ and _Makoto_ was protected by the wood varnish, and it created a strange feeling in the pit of Haru’s stomach. He stared down at the names - dragged his thumb across the carving, feeling the uneven texture - and slumped down into a chair. He didn’t care that Makoto was watching him out of the corner of his eye, as he prepared their food. Haru couldn’t bring himself to worry because he was stuck inside of a memory. He gazed upward and looked around the room. Everything was a momento of their past, even though the house was new. There were things he hadn’t seen, of course, but even then he was reminded of Makoto. He knew Makoto, and understood his friend’s decorative style. It shouldn’t have, but Haru felt like he had been punched in the gut. 

“I received the lease this morning.” Makoto crowed, and Haru pulled himself out of his mind. It looked like Makoto hadn’t noticed his mini break down, or if he had, he wasn’t saying anything. “We just have to sign it and post it away by 5.” Makoto explained, pushing the plate of steamed rice and mackerel in front of Haru. A cup of tea followed that smelled divine, and Haruka almost groaned. 

He had been living off crap food for so long. There was only so much he could cook in the staff quarters, on tour. 

“Have you signed it?” Haru managed to ask, picking up his chop sticks and pushing away the intense feeling in his chest. 

“Yes, just need yours and we will be set to go.” Makoto beamed, and Haru gazed across the table meeting his friend’s eyes. 

He didn’t speak for a moment, as his blue eyes took in Makoto’s features. He landed on Makoto’s green hues, once more, and he saw the corners of Makoto’s eyes crinkle; there was a few lines there that hadn’t been before, and it reminded Haru that they had aged. They were 26 now. 

If he was going to tell the truth, now would be the time to do it. 

The lease was piled in the centre of the table, ready for his signature, and Haru had promised to himself that he would tell Makoto before he got in over his head. He didn’t want to be guilty anymore. 

All at once Haru felt a flood of emotion, and he tore his eyes away from Makoto’s. He realised how much he had truly missed his friend, and the carving beneath his thumb skewed his feelings even more. 

Haru couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t stand being rejected, or even worse, being asked to leave. 

He had just gotten back.

“Do you have a pen?” He asked somewhat shakily. 

Makoto’s smile doubled and he reached across the table to grab Haru’s hand. He squeezed it, and made an elated sound in his throat. 

“I know we said we’d do this one day. I’m glad it’s today.” The brunet said. 

Haru’s pleasure was over shone by the guilt that he continued to feel. 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbetad

Makoto knew when Haru left him that something had happened that he wasn’t aware of, and for four years he had no idea what it was. They had gone from best friends and room mates, to nothing, in the blink of an eye. Makoto couldn’t explain the empty feeling that came over him when he woke up to find Haru’s room empty. Haru had left everything else, which made Makoto feel even worse. It was the moment after Haru had left, but before he was gone from Makoto’s life. Everything was stained with Haru.

The living room was still messy from the time they had spent together only hours before. It was a real slap in the face, and no one was around to hear the impact. 

Initially, he felt hurt and confused. Makoto had always respected the boundaries that Haru set in their relationship, and Haru still went away. The ‘why’ alluded Makoto for years afterward, and even though he tried to put it to the back of his mind, it still niggled now and then. 

He remembered the night before Haru took off. Makoto knew that something felt fishy, and he realised that he was right, now - after the fact. Haru didn’t leave his side that night, and for the first time that month, Makoto felt like they were going to get back to normal. He supposed that he must have known that something was wrong, subconsciously, or he wouldn’t have wanted to drag the night out as long as possible. 

In hindsight, he should have hugged Haru before he went to bed that night; he should have done something.

For a long time Makoto wondered why Haru had been so nice that night, only to leave. He decided that he must have done something to upset his friend, and that Haru was humouring him before he took off. 

Makoto had been blindsided. Haruka had always been categorised as flighty, yes, but Makoto never thought that Haru would flee from him. He was naive to think that they could always stay the same. 

After Haru’s departure, it wasn’t easy to move on with life. Haru had left a hole in Makoto’s existence that couldn’t be filled. They had known each other since elementary school, and he had 18 years worth of memories inside of him.

So, after calling, and texting Haruka, and receiving no reply, Makoto gave up. Haru had a wall up and Makoto was never going to get through it. Instead, he stepped back and hoped that Haru would contact him one day. He continued to go to classes, and his job. He also rented out Haru’s room to a guy in his class, who ended up sleeping with his girlfriend. 

It should have been a kick to the teeth, but Makoto wasn’t in a state to keep up a relationship, let alone register that he was still in one. His mind was full of things that he couldn’t understand. 

Then, a year later, he received an email. It was one of few, but it kept something burning inside of Makoto. It was almost enough to know that Haru still existed. 

 

Recalling everything from the past hurt, and it probably wasn’t healthy, but Makoto was feeling wistful. He was going to be 26 soon, and he had almost two decades of memories about Haruka; the bad ones were mixed in with the good - and while some memories still stung - Makoto enjoyed going through them in his mind. 

Perhaps it was an affliction… 

It made sense. He had pined after Haruka, in some way, since they met. From their first conversation Makoto was intrigued by Haru, which was a feeling that soon gave way admiration. Haru was soft spoken, but direct; he said exactly what he meant to say, and would not be swayed by others. Makoto felt linked to him instantly, and Haru grew to be Makoto’s hero, despite Makoto being bigger. 

Haru was his person, and they were a team. They were glued together; Haru practically lived at Makoto’s house well into their late teens. Then, they swapped Makoto’s family home for an apartment in the city. 

It was around then that things started to get messy, and Makoto would rather not rehash. The stuff that he used to find himself thinking embarrassed him greatly, and Makoto hoped that Haru would never find out. 

Makoto liked women, and thought that they were beautiful. Unfortunately for him, he thought that Haru was as well. When he started thinking of kissing Haru, in a dream, Makoto knew that it wasn’t a good sign. After that, Makoto attempted to put all thoughts on lock down. He wasn’t going to ruin his closest friendship over something so unexpected. 

Nowadays, Makoto wondered if he should have told the truth. He wasn’t sure what the truth was, because he didn’t have any experience with men, but Makoto knew that his want to kiss Haru had been real. 

His friend was the only man that he had ever wanted to touch lips with, and women frequented his fantasies more often than not. However, he didn’t date much. It was pretty depressing, but he wasn’t into the whole scene. He had, however, had a few one night stands here and there. 

Yes, for all intents and purposes, Makoto was straight. He hadn’t thought of another man since Haru, and he was hoping that the years would have faded the attraction.

 If it hadn’t he was in for some trouble…

Not long ago, Makoto had been talking to Haru through email, and they had been corresponding more regularly. Makoto was telling Haru about his next great adventure - He was getting approval to have his own training centre. They had always liked the idea of opening a pool when they were young, and he could make it happen now. Makoto was primed and ready to make it work, and although he had majored in Health and Physical Education, he was also business savvy. 

Haru had studied physiotherapy, but he had worked at their local pool for many years. Haruka knew the ins and outs of running an aquatic centre, and Makoto tried not to want them together, as he went forward with the plan.

Still, the dreams of Haru joining him came, and Makoto was ready to push them away… 

Then, Haru called. 

It was Monday, almost 5pm, when the phone rang. Makoto thought that it was going to be his only work friend, Nagisa; it wasn’t, though. 

“Makoto.” Haruka’s voice filtered through the phone, and Makoto lost his breath. For a moment he thought that he had misheard. But then his name was said again in that very familiar voice.

“Makoto?” 

He didn’t know the number, but he couldn’t mistake it. 

“Haru?” Makoto asked, just to make sure. He thought that he was dreaming. 

“Yes. It’s me.” Came the reply. Then, a long, awkward, silence followed. 

Makoto didn’t speak, nor did he hang up.

“I wasn’t expecting you to call.” He finally piped up. He was afraid that Haru might hang up at any moment. 

“Me either.” Haru said, and Makoto thought that he could hear something like frustration in Haru’s voice. It was gone in a flash, and the conversation paused.

“Haru…” Makoto tried. “Are you alright?” 

The phone was silent, and Makoto thought that Haru might have left. The seconds were still ticking away on his phone, though, and he could hear his friend breathing softly.

…

… 

“I’ve left my job and I’m coming back to Japan.” Haru suddenly spoke, and Makoto could barely register it. 

“ _You_ \- You are?” Makoto asked disbelievingly. 

A bunch of other questions rushed through his mind as well, such as, ‘Why?’, ‘How?’, and ‘Can I see you?’

Makoto was trying so hard to keep it in that something slipped out…

“Where are you going to stay?” He asked. He couldn’t help sounding a little on edge, like he was demanding. 

Shit, he hoped he hadn’t over stepped his bounds. 

Haru sighed shortly, and tutted. Makoto tried to slow his heart. 

“I was hoping I could stay with you.” Haru said, softer than he probably intended. The long lost man cleared his throat and the fragility of the moment was gone. 

“Of course you can, Haru.” Makoto managed to say…

 

And that was how Haru returned to his life, as unpredictable and thought provoking as he was before. Makoto began to stress, and the weeks coming up to Haru’s arrival, he began to feel crazy. He had a lot to get ready; things that he had neglected to fix up. 

He knew, though, that Haru wouldn’t care about the state of his house. Nevertheless, Makoto couldn’t sit still. 

He was almost fearful that if he stopped preparing, and started thinking - getting excited - that Haru would back out, and Makoto would be back to square one. 

Still, Makoto pushed the negativity aside and tried to stay optimistic. After all, Haru had contacted him, that _had_ to mean something. 

 

Makoto managed to keep that perky cheerfulness right up until 8.05 on the night of Haru’s arrival. They had agreed on 8, and Makoto knew that it was irrational for him to worry about five minutes of tardiness. 

Regardless, he paced around the house until a knock reverberated through the hall at 8.35. Makoto was on his way up the hallway, ready to walk through the sitting room, to the kitchen, and back to the hallway, where the loop would begin again.  He stopped and realised that he was dizzy from all the walking back and forth.  The swirling sat beside the butterflies in his stomach like kindreds, and Makoto felt like he might throw up. 

Instead, he rushed toward the door, almost tipping over in his horrified excitement.

He stopped dead in front of the wood, centred himself, and took a big breath. 

However, it wasn’t enough to stop the overwhelming feeling of happiness that flooded through him when Makoto opened the door. 

Haruka was revealed to his eyes, and Makoto wanted to cry; he could feel it bubbling up inside of him, too. He stepped forward, ready to hug Haruka, and then stopped short; he didn’t want to cause Haru to flee.  

Makoto’s eyes travelled from Haru’s shoes, to his familiar blue eyes. 

“Makoto.” Haru said. 

A nervous chuckle exited Makoto’s throat, then, and he couldn’t stop himself from saying,

“I missed you saying my name.” He really had. This was turning out to be more emotional than he thought. 

Makoto stepped back into his home, and after some nervous chattering and short lived eye contact, he disappeared into the kitchen. 

Makoto had been expecting Haru all month and now that his friend was here…Well, it was all just a bit much. 

Makoto didn’t want to scare Haru with his feelings…

“This place is nicer than the apartment.” Haruka’s voice filtered into the kitchen, and Makoto cleared his throat.

“And bigger.” He said, trying to sound casual. It worked, for the most part. 

Silence covered the house, after a beat, and Makoto wondered momentarily if Haru had left.

“Haru?” He called out tentatively. 

Kami…What if he did leave?

Makoto’s chest clenched and he dragged his fingers through his hair. His heart beat quickly, and Haru appeared in the door way. Makoto realised, then, how irrational he was being. 

Haru shouldn’t leave now, it had been his choice to come. 

Haru was finally home…

He couldn’t hold it back anymore, and with a swell of emotional, Makoto decided to take a risk. He felt out of control, as he stepped into Haru’s personal space.  

Makoto stopped just short of touching, and looked into the unreadable blue eyes. For a moment, Makoto felt awash at sea. He realised that could no longer read Haru’s mind. He didn’t know what his friend was thinking…

But, he supposed, it was a small price to pay for having Haruka in front of him. 

Makoto reached out and gripped Haru’s arms, and pulled him into an embrace. The familiar feeling of having Haru against him hit Makoto like a bag of bricks, and he held on tightly. Tears sprang to his eyes that he was unable to keep at bay. 

“Makoto…” Haru murmured against his shoulder, and Makoto sniffed loudly.

“Welcome home.” He said against Haru’s hair. He breathed in the smell, and then pulled back. 

He intended to let go, but found that he could not. 

So, he rested his head on Haru’s shoulder, and Haru let him. 

For a minute neither man spoke…

 _And_ , for the first time since Makoto had bought this house, he felt completely at home.  

He knew that it was because of Haru. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbetad - Original work at my Tumblr, along with my other yaoi fiction.   
> Come say hi :D My username is merinxdboyslove.tumblr.com

Haru hadn’t expected to feel immediately comfortable in his new life style. Sure, Makoto’s house was quiet, and the atmosphere was reminiscent of years past, but Haruka had been living in a different way…

It took him years to get used to the life of a travelling physio, who got paid less than you’d think, and worked harder than Haru could have ever imagined. Honestly, it was stressful trying to find his freedom. 

 He was glad that he did it, though, because now that Haru was back in Japan, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to leave again. 

He had missed the weather, and the food, an  _some_  people. This new town that he’d landed in was big enough for him to get what he needed, and to look for extra work, but it was also small enough that Haru didn’t have to make any friends if he didn’t want to. Also, he reckoned that he had enough ‘friend’ issues already. 

Regardless of said problems, Haru had to admit that Makoto’s house was relaxing. 

Sure, his friend couldn’t be in the vicinity, and Haru couldn’t think about Makoto, lest he wanted to be wracked with guilt. He had told himself that he would tell Makoto the truth, and he hadn’t gotten round to it. It had been almost two months since he had come home, and Haru had thrown himself into the business. 

Schedule talk, and floor plan, along with marketing ideas, became the go to conversation between Haru and Makoto, and it was going well. They didn’t talk about anything meaningful, and it almost tricked Haru into thinking that things were improving between them. 

Even if they were getting closer, Haru felt like he was being deceiving. It was too hard; he couldn’t face his friend with the truth of who he was. And he sure as hell couldn’t be anywhere near Makoto. It was getting bad. Haru couldn’t see Makoto without wanting to be closer to him. Case and point - the other night, at dinner, Makoto reached for the seasoning and as Haru’s eyes fell upon Makoto’s moving hand, he reached out. Haru had the unmistakable urge to touch Makoto’s arm, and he managed to stop himself just short. Thankfully, Makoto thought that he was reaching for the serving spoon, and gladly grabbed Haru’s plate for a second helping. Haru was full and didn’t want to eat anymore, yet he pretended that he had plenty of room in his bloated stomach. 

He told himself that he had not been, under any circumstances, reaching out to stroke Makoto’s arm. 

Though, in all seriousness, it was a bit of a worry. Haru often acted on whims and fancies; if he wanted to do something, he did it. 

Withholding certainly wasn’t one of his strong points, and when he did withhold he had trouble functioning. 

That was the main reason that Haru had been keeping his distance. Holding back the truth from Makoto was painful, and Haru felt guilty every time he set eyes upon his friend. Thankfully, they had been so busy getting the pool up and running that Makoto had not had time to notice. It was their second month of leasing, and although they didn’t have many customers, the place was looking good. Still, they were sorely lacking equipment, amongst other necessities. 

To forget everything - the pool, Makoto, part time work- , Haru swam. Each and every day he would dive into the pool. when no one was around; which was often.  Yeah, life was pretty stressful, but it was good to have a pool to access 24/7.  Unfortunately, pools didn’t come cheap, and Haru swimming in it could not generate profits.  Customers just weren’t biting, and they need a game plan.

Haru understood that they would not see many people until the on season, but surely families  in the area needed to teach their kids to swim. There was nothing wrong with the aquatic centre. It had everything that it needed. It was just the training room that was missing equipment. They would need to raise the funds for the gym some other way, amongst other equipment; Haru couldn’t see another solution…

He also doubted that they would be able to get the money that they needed to pay their next instalment, as well as the connection overheads. It turned out that setting up a large pool hall was costly. Haru hoped that it was worth it, for Makoto’s sake. 

Haru could handle it if this went belly up, but he wasn’t so sure about his friend. This had always been Makoto’s dream, after all, and Haru wanted it to work out for him. 

The roof of the hall was made of glass, or some other clear surface, and allowed the moon light to shine through. It hit the water’s surface radiantly, and morphed as the water rippled. Haru watched, and splashed the beam of light with his hand. Then, he breathed in, and ducked beneath the water. 

He and Makoto’s business was in trouble, yes, but things didn’t seem so bad when he was swimming. 

At least he could forget for a moment. 

It was 3am, and Haru had come here to think. He always came up with his best solutions when submerged in a body of water, and tonight was no exception. They needed to advertise for swimming classes; do something old school to get people in. Families would be their first priority once they got to the holiday season. 

That was if they made it that far…  

Haru sighed beneath the water, and bubbles could be seen floating upwards. He allowed himself to glide up to the surface, and Haru took in a long breath. 

His eyes widened as he realised that he wasn’t alone. Makoto was standing at the edge of the pool, and it looked like he was waiting for him. 

“I knew you’d be here.” Makoto said, and Haru grunted. 

His friend was wearing grey track pants and a t-shirt. Makoto had flip flops on his feet, and a sleepy expression upon his face. 

“I know you’re worried Haru, but you shouldn’t do this to yourself.” The brunet said. Reaching his hand out, he motioned for Haru to take it, and Haruka did. Haru climbed from the pool somewhat reluctantly, and accepted the towel that Makoto handed him. 

“We’re just starting out.” Haru said, and he wasn’t sure what he meant by it. Was it an excuse? He didn’t know. 

He also didn’t know if they were supposed to be doing better than they were, by this point. Perhaps, he was wrong and they really were bad business men…

“Just novices.” Makoto replied, and he walked with Haru to the entrance of the building. They locked up and set off on foot. 

It was a warm night, and Haru didn’t bother with getting dressed. His jammers were wet against his skin, and when he stepped into the street, the breeze was cool. It was a relaxing night despite their conversation. 

They were silent, and Makoto fisted his palms in his pockets as he walked. 

“Haru..” He began, slowing his pace. They were taking the long way home, it would seem. 

“I know that you didn’t imagine it’d be like this when we planned it. I’m sorry…I got too excited.” Makoto admitted. He was forever the optimist, and it really hurt him sometimes. 

Haru knew this, and felt disappointment for his friend. 

“We’ll be okay.” He said, in way of placating Makoto. Surprisingly, it helped his own mood as well. 

Haru let his fingers slide absently against the metal railing that travelled along the waterfront, attached to a large concrete wall.  The moon shone brightly, still, and made up for the fact that the street lamps were flickering on and off dimly. They continued to walk from the shore, through the shop district, passing the closed coffee shops and food stalls. The 24/7 internet cafe was open, and so was the all night convenience store. 

Haru tugged on Makoto’s shirt and slowed his pace. Inwardly, Haru questioned if he should buy food. They hadn’t gone shopping that week and he was hungry. 

He knew, however, that Makoto would not appreciate him going into the store in his swimmers. 

“Makoto.” Haru said. “I’m hungry.” 

The brunet halted beside him, and looked at the convenience store to their right. He then glanced at Haru’s half naked form, and sighed. 

“You can’t go in like that.” He said, like a mothering hen, and Haru smirked to himself. He knew that Makoto would say that. 

“You can.” He replied, and Makoto agreed. 

He wasn’t too fussed about the bento that Makoto would choose. It was never like home made. Still, he was almost ravenous and too tired to cook. 

“It’s coming…” Haru whispered to himself, as his stomach grumbled loudly. He shouldn’t have swam for so long.

While he waited, he leant against a telephone post and gazed at the internet cafe window. He could see Makoto through the convenience store’s glass wall, as he paid for the prepackaged meal.  g

Haru’s eyes slid back to the internet cafe, and he scanned the many fliers and leaflets that covered the window. He could not see inside the internet cafe because of the amount of advertisements pasted. 

There was a lot…

But only one caught his eye, and Haru’s eyebrows raised. He leaned forward, probably gaping, as he took in the words behind the glass, 

“Gay for pay. Hot broke straight boys earn some money.” It was a red sign, with a naked, male, torso on the front. There was a camera lens transposed behind the oiled up model, and suggested that it was a type of porn. 

Haru looked to the website name in the corner and saved it into his mental database; he could look it up later…secretly. 

The flier said that they were looking for ‘real’ straight men, and Haru knew that he didn’t fit the bill. Haru wondered if they would know that he wasn’t straight, if he contacted them. Would they test him?

Somehow, he really doubted it. 

Perhaps it was one of those things that were better to be watched through a computer screen, behind a shut door.

“Ready?” Makoto asked from beside him, and Haru jumped. The brunet noticed, and gazed toward the window to see what Haru had been reading. 

Makoto squinted, reading without his glasses. He stepped forward, bending closer. Then, he went rigid, and stumbled backwards. His face slowly turned a hue of pink, and Haru imagined steam coming from Makoto’s ears.

Haru assumed that his friend was embarrassed, and maybe a little angry. 

He wasn’t surprised that Makoto felt that way, he was a straight man, after all; he should be disgusted at the idea. 

Haru’s stomach dropped and he pushed off the pole, taking his food from Makoto. He would wait until he got home to scoff his bento down. 

Neither spoke for a street or three.

“I didn’t know that that was a thing.” Makoto admitted, as they walked along the footpath once more. They had been walking in awkward silence for awhile, and the pressure felt like it had mounted. Haru was feeling on edge. 

“What?” Haru asked, but he realised that Makoto was referring to the gay porn. 

“You didn’t know about gay porn?” Haru asked a second question, since his friend had not continued. 

Makoto look flustered, and he gaped at Haru. 

“ _No_ …I knew about that.” He frowned, looking down at the ground. Makoto had always hated not knowing how to say things; he was usually very eloquent. 

Haru felt relief as they reached the threshold of their yard. He thought that they were going to drop it, and he could flee to his room, where he did not feel judged.

But Makoto wasn’t done - He was just taking his time getting there. 

“I meant gay for pay.” Makoto said, and Haru couldn’t decipher the tone of voice. He was sure it wasn’t good. He didn’t think it could be. 

Haru scoffed, “Everything is a  _thing_ , Makoto. Especially gay for pay.” He was annoyed, now, and knew that it wasn’t rational. 

Makoto didn’t know that Haru was gay, and it wasn’t his fault that Haru was lashing out. His friend wasn’t judging him because Makoto didn’t know the truth about him, and that was all down to Haruka. 

Despite the fact, he continued to feel rattled. Haru walked up the front steps and fidgeted with his key in the door. He could feel Makoto watching his back, but he couldn’t turn around. 

Haru could feel himself fucking it up, but he was unable to stay - He needed to get away. 

Without looking backward, he said, “Night,” and hurried inside. 

Haru didn’t see the confused but pensive look on Makoto’s face, as he watched Haru go.

Haruka didn’t know one bit of what Makoto was thinking or feeling.

And so he continued to feel irritated.  

It was that damn flier’s fault… 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is going to start going down soon...  
> Woot woot xD


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